Que sera, sera

So having done the previous test (hence the 'Hells Bells' line), I'm now addicted, [sigh].

There's a site called kingdomality which purports to be a translation of the old medieval trades, occupations and crafts to the modern day. I had the link hanging around from an email about 6 months ago, but hadn't ever actually tried it. It turns out I'm the Prime Minister - maybe not so different from the previous test after all (whoops, just a little political there...)

Hmm, I wonder what the impact of having this sort of information up on the web, and associated with me, will be. I guess I'll just have to keep my job - I'm not sure I'd want to just donate this sort of information (however accurate or inaccurate it may be) to a hiring manager... They are personality profiles after all. I'm not an egotistical maniac, honest [grin]

"Your distinct personality, The Prime Minister might be found in most of the thriving kingdoms of the time. You are a strategist who pursues the most efficient and logical path toward the realization of the goal that you perceive or visualize. You will often only associate with those people who can assist you in the implementation of your plan. Inept assistants may be immediately discarded as excess baggage. To do otherwise could be seen as inefficient and illogical. On the positive side, you can be rationally idealistic and analytically ideological. You can be a bold decision maker and risk taker who can move society ahead by years instead of minutes. On the negative side, you may be unmerciful, impatient, impetuous and impulsive. Interestingly, your preference is just as applicable in today's corporate kingdoms."

So, I don't do these "internet test" things as a rule - but what can I say, I was bored and there wasn't anything on TV [grin]. I came across a link to a tarot-test, and clicked it, answered the (surprisingly few) questions, and it turns out that

I am The Devil

This came as a bit of a shock.

Fortunately there was some explanatory text to go along with this rather cruelly (at least IMHO) declarative judgement:

Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession. The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.

Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.

I've always thought I had a way with words; I can turn a pretty sentence when I feel like, and I habitually alter my cadence and tone when making a case in a discussion/argument. In fact my closest friend often complains that I always come across as believable, even when I'm wrong. It's not something I do on purpose, it's just that I (obviously, otherwise I'd not be making the argument) think I'm right, and that belief leaks over into my presentation of my case automatically. I may not be Steve Jobs, but I think I can project a small RDF^[1] :-) 'The Devil' is a little judgemental, though [grin]

If you want to be similarly categorised, the test is over here.

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[1] RDF - The 'Reality Distortion Field' attributed to Apple's CEO Steve Jobs during his keynote presentations

This is a public service announcement. Do not buy a Renault Clio car. Not if you value your life.

Last week, my sister was driving up the M62 in the UK. It was pouring with rain, and she was overtaking some lorries (which were on the slow inside lane) when it happened - the bonnet released at the front, flew up, smashed the windscreen, and wrecked the top of the car. Somehow my sister managed to get the car over to the hard-shoulder without further incident.

My sister is incredibly lucky to be alive. If you own a Clio, make sure you regularly (and I mean every week) check the bonnet catch - there is a design flaw, whereby it corrodes and sticks with disastrous consequences, usually when you're driving at high speed.

This isn't a one-off, in case you're wondering - there is plenty of evidence that it is endemic to the design, see

• 
  
• MSN car report, 30 March 2007
  
• BBC consumer watchdog - who've had over 1000 complaints about this
  
• Whistleblower reports - saying Renault know about the problem, but are downplaying it
  

There have even been Questions in parliament (at the bottom of the page under 'Renault cars'), because Renault are denying that there is a problem, saying that this is a servicing issue, not a manufacturing one.

So, here's some more details about my sister's car:

• 
  
• It was bought from a Renault dealer in November of last year.
  
• The fit-and-finish wasn't deemed good-enough by the manager, so he had the service team do a full service on it before delivery.
  
• not four months later, the bonnet flies up and nearly kills her
  

If a car can go from official-dealer-sanctioned sale to a death-trap in four months, and that's "just fine" by Renault, something is wrong with their definition of "just fine".

What makes it worse is that they are saying it's down to a lack of maintenance on the part of the owner. Now all of you good people who regularly (say once/month) maintain the catch on your bonnet, please stand up. What ? Really ? No-one ? Yeah, thought so. No other car on the market needs this, which makes it a design flaw, not a maintenance issue.

EVEN IF they had a point about the maintenance (which they don't), when something is so crucial to the safety of the vehicle, should that information not be in the user-manual ? Because there's no mention of this anywhere in the user-manual.

The Renault Clio (the mark II model, and the 'clio campus' which is still on-sale new) is a death-trap. Don't buy one. And don't buy anything else from a car manufacturer that treats its customers like this. There's a lot of competition in the car-market... Vote with your wallets and purses for the car that doesn't try to kill you when you're driving at speed, and most at risk.

When a company finds a serious flaw in one of their products, they'll do a cost-assessment... What is the likely cost of replacing/repairing all the affected products versus the likely cost of being sued in court. It looks as though Renault have decided they can take the legal route. Perhaps when someone (or more than one person) dies, they'll regret that stance.

I'm just glad my sister isn't dead right now. Please don't let it be you, either.

... for tomorrow, you may die.

I’m riding down the Lea Bridge Road in East London - it's a nice wide carriageway with an effective third lane as the central reservation where this happened. Clear, well-lit road ahead of me, about 8:00 in the evening, approaching an area where there's a speed camera, so I was doing ~30 as usual.

There's a car in the centre bit, waiting to turn right (across my path), I see it, but I've got a clear right of way (and why was he waiting if he hadn't seen me?) so I ride on. Of course, as soon as I'm about 15 feet away, he turns right into my path. I try to swerve (almost made it too, I've got good reactions), slam on the brakes, but hit the passenger-side front of the bonnet. Ow. Lots of breaking-glass noise. Crack! as my head hits the windscreen, while my shoulders and arm hit the bonnet - I'm on my back on the bonnet, though I don't recall how. I didn't lose consciousness, it just happened so fast after the impact.

The guy gets out the car, asks me if I'm ok. I replied (somewhat strongly :-) in the negative... Some public-spirited types run over and tightly hold me down on the bonnet. I'm not trying to move in case my neck's broken but they're (really!) making sure. Matey walks over to the kerb and starts chatting with his friends(!)... he's 50-60, dressed in religious-type robes, as are lots of people around. I reckon he was looking for his friends rather than at the road - there's a mosque on the corner....

Off-duty copper is there seemingly immediately, handles everything great - moves on people who are prodding me to see if I react (!) and tells people trying to turn into the road that they'll have to find another route ("can't you just put him over there ?" !! "Bugger off - are you stupid or what?" :-) :-), telephones police, ambulance and fire-brigade (the bike's leaking petrol) who are all there in minutes. On-duty coppers turn up and start to organise things.

Not much blood around, the armoured jacket had saved my arms, and the helmet had taken the impact onto the windscreen - windscreen completely smashed - could see the impact point and indentation, lost the visor. Right hand very badly bruised - figure it got wrenched as the bike crashed into the front of the car. Right boot had come clean off (and if you ride a bike, you know how hard those damn things are to get on!) and been wedged under the car tyre (how ?). When ambulance arrived, driver originally thought pillion was under the car...

Plenty of reactions tests, personal questions (DOB,name,etc.) eventually figure out there's not much wrong with me, at least above the waist. Try to stand up. Mistake. BIG Mistake! Get stretchered into ambulance, the good lady attendent starts prodding at my legs. Right thigh, mid thigh, knee AAARRRGGGHHH! Ok, something *definitely* wrong there.

Trousers are cut off the right leg - there's an 8-inch long, 2-inch wide hole in my leg around the outside of my knee. Get acquainted with my leg bone structure. So that's what they all look like... Remember feeling completely calm about this uncommon view of my insides... Still very very little blood. Think this is odd... Later, Dr. says most of the blood vessels run on the inside of the thigh not the outside. Thanks Charles Darwin. Lady attendent apologises for squeezing wound, but I don't care, I'm still waiting to bleed to death at that point...

Get to hospital. Told I'll be in for a couple of days at least while they strip skin from one place to graft over the wound. Senior House Doctor says it looks different to usual, calls in specialist. Turns out it's a tear not a cut. Belatedly remember that trousers were not ripped after accident. Apparently this means it may just suture back together since there's little-to-no skin loss (some due to heat-loss when it tore). Turns out that the bike and car trapped my leg on impact, both pulling the same direction but on opposite sides of the knee while my knee was twisted around - result: flesh on the side of the knee ripped apart (down to the bone) under the strain, my leg just ... burst open.

Police come by, they've interviewed the driver, and want to talk to me. All very friendly, not confrontational. They take my details and account of events, then mention that the driver said my headlights weren't on. I (firmly :-) state this is, of course, not true. Copper says he went over and checked the headlight switch. It was on. Just to be clear about this, the headlights *were* on.

It's a big tear, so they want me to go under a general anaesthetic, while they brush out the wound from inside with liberal application of antiseptic. In the meantime, nurse applies the same antiseptic gingerly to wound edges. I hit the roof. Almost literally. Remember my manners (under some significant strain :-) and ask for painkillers before she goes any further. Is ok once I've taken 2 tablets the size of Gibraltar. Think they could cut my head off without complaint at that stage. have drips for antibiotics, a tetanus jab, multiple other un-named drips put in... By 2am, find a bed in a broken-limbs (can't remember the proper word - had an 'ology' in it :-) ward.

Spent a rather uncomfortable night - lots of pain kicking in by this stage - they'd put me on morphine (self-administered :-) but still very hard to get to sleep - it just "felt wrong", even without the pain. Didn't help that the bed ... moved. Yep - the damn mattress was alive (I thought it was the morphine at first!). Lots of air-tubes in the mattress which alternately filled and emptied... Apparently for people who stay in hospital for lengthy periods - stops bedsores. I don't get airsick, carsick, or seasick, but I was almost bedsick....

Was operated on next day - phoned people I knew before general anesthetic (just in case...) Had to start conversation with mother with "Are you sitting down.." - never a good thing... Phoned work ("Where've you been?" .. "I have a good excuse...") - cue standard 'get better before you come back' line - nice though... Op went smoothly. When I woke up they'd bandaged my leg, so couldn't get a photo of the inside of my leg - yes it's ghoulish, but when else do you get the chance ? [grin]

Not much else to say about Hospital since it all went smoothly, and I was out of there by 8pm on the next day with a huge "compression" bandage covering most of my right leg. Family came down to London and helped me out while I could barely walk - would have to have stayed in hospital without them, and despite how smoothly it went, I prefer being at home - yay for family :-)

The next few weeks were a nightmare of trying to sort out the insurance company - the police had left the bike by the kerb, and someone had stolen it. Yep, that battered twisted remnant of a bike had been nicked. [sigh]. The problem was that the assessor had nothing to assess, and I didn’t want it to go down as a robbery because then I’d lose my no-claims bonus. Eventually we sorted it out, with the other driver’s insurance company paying for everything.

Riding a ‘bike is just about the most fun you can have on your own and still be legal, but there’s something to be said for having a steel cage all around you all the time as well. Like I said above, while I was lying on my back on the bonnet, the driver of the car wandered over to chat with his friends... I still bought another bike though :-)